Sin in Walton-on-the-Wolds

God got a lot more touchy-feelie since I was five – not in the Vatican sense, if you get my drift. A lot less fire and brimstone, and a bit more fluffy-bunny and sticking-plaster. Much more Newty than OT. Good to see someone reformed.

At Burton-on-the-Wolds Infants’ School in the 1950’s we were apprised of his less appealing, more vengeful, side. Back in his bad old days, God seemed to think nothing of hurling down plagues of all sorts of horrid things on ancient Egyptians at the drop of a hat. He also had a tendency to lob stuff like thundering great fireballs about willy-nilly. And there was the time he flooded the entire planet because of wickedness. I mean, what’s more wicked? Resolving problems quietly over a cup of tea didn’t enter his agenda. Good, old-fashioned table manners were not quite his thing.