Bryan Hemming

short stories, comment, articles, humour and photography

Ruffled Petals at the Guardian

Luke & Marina 2

Photo caricatures – Bryan Hemming

In another principled stand against information it doesn’t like very much the Guardian has made it quite clear that anyone linking to the renegade Off-Guardian site will be banned from commenting. Serve them right, too!

According to Britain’s most inventive news outlet, OffG — an alternative ‘blog’ site set up by a bunch of disgruntled, good-for-nothing, rebel-rousers with nothing better to do— has the temerity to publish “statements of fact regarding our [The Guardian’s] journalists’ credibility”. Many will see the ban as a yet another priceless example of the superior newspaper’s brave struggle against an increasingly non-compliant readership. Some people don’t like hearing the truth even when it pokes them in the eye. They know very well who they are.

Bearing such admirable pluck in mind we can fully expect to see the ban extended to include another media outlet that has seen fit to show similar disrespect towards one of the UK’s most imaginative news organs, following the unearthing of a brazen assault on the credibility of one of its most valiant scribes.

In a blatantly muck-raking article picked up by The Lifeboat News — the new media watchdog born out of the former Media Lens message board — Newsweek, which describes itself as an American ‘magazine’, published an unprovoked attack on innocent little Luke Harding, who wouldn’t harm a fly. Even if it flew into his eye it wouldn’t have to die.

Appearing in the magazine’s European edition last April, the Newsweek article described Harding as “self-styled”. That is a despicable lie. Nothing could be further from the truth. Known for possessing more charm than a flute player with a snake in a basket, nobody could accuse ace scoop Harding of having any style whatsoever.

In How ‘The Guardian’ Milked Edward Snowden’s Story, horrid Julian Assange blasts poor, old Luke —who adores fluffy kittens like mad, incidentally— in a way that makes most Off-Guardian criticisms look like unrequited missives from the lovelorn.

It seems the heartless editors of Newsweek don’t give a fig about hurting the sensibilities of the little petals down at the Guardian. Well, they going to learn a lesson they won’t forget in a hurry if the newspaper’s firm response against Off-Guardian is anything to go by. You wouldn’t get honourable journalists like Luke Harding and Marina Hyde slagging off other journalists, would you now? It just isn’t cricket.

I expect they’ll all be shaking in their boots down at Newsweek HQ this week. And well they might.

Editor Katharine Viner can rest assured she will receive the full weight of my support in imposing a ban on this Newsweek thingummy, whatever it calls itself, to take effect immediately. You show ‘em who’s boss, Kath!


11 comments on “Ruffled Petals at the Guardian

  1. Dina
    February 16, 2016

    Oh, so sorry, Bryan, for not being accurate; my reply to your replies are fine, I klick on reply and the box to answer is active.

    On a new comment in the reader in the slightly smaller view on WP it was not possible to klick “send”, that’s what I tried it out. And please, please forgive me; the phone rang, the dog wanted go for walkies and the washing machine went piepiiipepeeep and I forgot all about it.
    Now I have visited home on your blog, and I’m sure I can send this comment, everything looks normal. Most of the time, when something is not working, it’s due to own faults, lack of knowledge and not at all something not working …

    And what did I actually want to say? Aha, serves them right! 🙂
    Nice chatting to you Bryan. If you and Angelica should be in Norfolk, please poop in for a nice cup or a fine glas …
    Take care, have a lovely time!
    Dina x


  2. Bryan Hemming
    February 16, 2016

    Testing…one … two … three … four …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Colltales
    February 16, 2016

    Another courageous Guardian stand against those punks, who seem to lavish in bed with uncomfortably truths nauseatingly way too often. That’ll teach ’em, for sure.
    Otherwise, a piece of fine irony, Bryan. The only thing I’d object is about those damn kittens Mr. Harding likes: in my book, that’s definitely a redeeming quality… Cheerio

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bryan Hemming
      February 16, 2016

      Fluffy kittens, just put them on a Christmas card in Santa Claus hats and I’ll buy anything on offer.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Dina
        February 16, 2016

        I tried to comment, but it won’t send, it’s not active, I wonder why.


      • Bryan Hemming
        February 16, 2016

        Hm, seems strange, especially as your reply got through. I’ll ask Angelica to try and see how she does, now she’s got up from her siesta. And I’ll also try to leave a comment that isn’t a reply.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dina
        February 16, 2016


        Liked by 1 person

      • Bryan Hemming
        February 16, 2016

        My test got through, but then it hasn’t got quite so far to go. Angelica’s having her afternoon tea now. I hate to disturb her, but I do wish she’d hurry up, I always get impatient in a panic.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dina
        February 16, 2016


        Liked by 1 person

      • Colltales
        February 16, 2016

        I’ve been saying that for years. Their world; we only work in here.

        Liked by 1 person

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