Bryan Hemming

short stories, comment, articles, humour and photography

A Tale of Three Women

Tavira market

“Canna ashoo a queshoon?” I looked round to see a short, stubby woman lurching drunkenly towards me in the dingy fisherman’s bar near the river. “If you’rr marr’d, ah’m no’ intrresset.” Against the background of subdued Portuguese murmuring, the broad Glasgwegian accent was unmistakable, its rolling ‘r’s laced with spit.

Having already ordered a glass of red wine, I’d spotted her too late. Turning my back, in the hope she might go away, wasn’t going to work. Her hip bumping against my thigh was more than enough proof of that.

The scruffy little drinking hole behind the market in Tavira had become my favourite port of call. The only woman, and loud at that, Jan was impossible to miss in a bar full of hard-drinking males. Staggering from table to table, she’d been grabbing men’s hands, trying to get them to kiss her. One moment full of bonhomie the next full of aggression, it wasn’t behaviour the locals were used to. As for her colourful Glaswegian vernacular, it was probably best left as it was, concealed under a spit-speckled slur. The wide swings from wooing to cursing, having scant impression on her local prey, she’d moved on to me. Portuguese fishermen prefer to get drunk quietly. The only thing they did understand was that the foreign woman was completely plastered.

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6 comments on “A Tale of Three Women

  1. shodfem
    March 31, 2015

    Reblogged this on shodfem's Blog.


  2. rangewriter
    March 29, 2015

    Thank god you captured the flavor before the place was sanitized.


    • Bryan Hemming
      March 31, 2015

      Shopping malls taking over historic buildings are the curse of global capitalism. The life was completely sucked out of the place.


  3. auntyuta
    March 29, 2015

    Looking forward to more new posts in April, Bryan. I have not followed the link yet. But this Jan seems plastered alright!
    Have a great Easter holiday.
    Cheerio, Uta 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on March 29, 2015 by in Articles, Travel and tagged , , , .

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