Bryan Hemming

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King Cnut’s Prize

cnut copy

The prized King Cnut medallion photo every great big King Cnut in the world deserves to own

In honour of the Great Cnut, the Danish king who showed his acolytes how wrong a bunch of slimey, tide-turners can be, I announce a new award for the most deserving personality of the week, each and every week.

In recognition of cooperation found universally, the Foundation of Universal Cooperation, (FUC) has pledged to donate a prize to the winner of a weekly poll decided by my bloggers.

Each winner of the week is entitled to claim a signed photocopy of the King Cnut medal illustrated, which will be dispatched as soon as I receive a registered postal address and proof of identity.

Nominations should be submitted by Friday each week, and be judged by the number of likes received by the following Friday.

Without nomination, or consultation, and as a preliminary exercise, this week’s Foundation of Universal Cooperation (FUC) prize has been awarded to Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame for this little faux pas, and immediate climbdown: Top Gear in a spin: Jeremy Clarkson insults ‘convict’ Australians. To my immense pleasure, I crown Jeremy Clarkson FUC King Cnut of the week. Congratulations, Jeremy! You deserve it. Please send your address and proof of identity to receive your prize.

Now the big question is: who will be next week’s FUC King Cnut? There are plenty around, so get your nominations in early.


2 comments on “King Cnut’s Prize

  1. Bryan Hemming
    March 8, 2013

    No, Cnut, the same as Knut in my story. It’s the old spelling. But you make me laugh. And also, to think of you and Daniel, Polish, Irish and Chinese, perfect Australians. My family is Norwegian, English, and with my brother in law, Turkish Cypriot, and all the better for it.


  2. WordsFallFromMyEyes
    March 8, 2013

    And my word of the day has been learned thanks to Bryan – ‘acolytes’. Thank you! Nothing to do with stalactites I discovered, upon looking up…

    I nominate Tony Abbott, a politician in Australia. He’s the opposition to Julia Gillard, our prime minister. He said – I KID YOU NOT – Daniel was on the computer in the lounge, & me opening mail on the couch while the TV news aired, he said, objecting to Julia Gillard’s strongly accented Scotsman John McTernan she’d hired, he said,

    “We just don’t believe in imported politics… WE WILL ALWAYS SPEAK WITH A STRONG AUSTRALIAN ACCENT.” You could argue he meant it all figuratively, but if you heard him SAY it, you would hear in his tone it sounded racist –

    Daniel looked up and said, “What the fuck? Australians are getting so racist these days” and I agreed – it was horrible.


    But is King Cunt his real name, and did it annoy you that autocorrect kept interfering – is that why you gave up correcting it?


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This entry was posted on March 8, 2013 by in Articles, Humour.

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